I've been a mother for a long time. 27 years, to be exact. I've had kids in my home for this long, since after I was halfway done raising my oldest son, I had two more, then married a man with three kids of his own.
Sheesh. I should be a professional parenting consultant or something. Oh lordy, that made me spit Diet Coke out of my nose. I am not.even.close. to a professional.
I've recently discovered that there are a number of things I do for my fourteenagers (17,16, 15 & 15) that in no way prepare them for real life. Why do I do these things solo?
I mean after 27 years, I should know better. What kind of kids am I getting ready to shove out of sending out into the world? But hey, I have my reasons. Maybe not good ones, but reasons.
Close up of legs and vacuum photo via Shutterstock.
I make dinners alone, even though I have many requests to help.
Maybe it's just because I suck at delegating, but having more than me in the kitchen makes me lose my mind up in here, up in here. For real. I always feel like I have to give detailed instructions when I'm trying to juggle all of the courses at the same time. And I have ADHD.
I really can't be bothered by "Does this one look okay?""How many more of these do I have to do?""Cody is standing near the silverware and I need a spoon and he won't move." Just. No. I even tell hubby no, and he does offer.
I cut up my kids' meat and/or portions for them ahead of time.
Like, they don't even use knives. Come on, YES, they know HOW to cut their meat, but since I make one plate at a time (okay, shut it), it's easier to proportion out meals for six people if I cut the meat and/or portions first.
I deliver each plate to each child and husband one at a time, wherever they are in the house (most of the time).
This one is strange. I suppose the reason is this: I have worked my butt off making dinner. It's kind of like a craft project. I'd like to present my somewhat of a disaster masterpiece to them myself. We used to eat at the dinner table. Since we downsized to an apartment, we don't HAVE a dinner table. Sue me.
I set my alarm and wake them up individually each morning.
Sometimes multiple times, depending on the kid. I guess this one is just because I have to get up anyway, so it's not a big deal to wake them up. I figure, as adults, it's not really that hard to learn to wake up with an alarm. I'd rather start their days off semi-peacefully. Of course within 15 minutes, they are yelling and each other, the mirror, or me.
This is the most embarrassing one. I don't make my children do chores. At all.
Because I'm a SAHM, I feel guilty making them do that kind of work since I'm here all day and they have enough stress from school. I mean they DO pick up after themselves, and do their laundry, but I do the dishes and the house "cleaning."
I'm sure there are more, but these are the ones that I'm embarrassed of the most. Believe me, I'm well-read about the reasons having the kids do all of these things builds character.
I just know that my kids are well-behaved and good kids at school, are vastly independent, and they love me a lot, whether or not I clean for them. It's the least I can do, to make their lives just a little easier, for the last few years that I have them here. Ah, dang it. I meant for this post to be funny, but I got "the feels." It's worth it.
(I feel like I need to say that my husband helps in everything I do including wrangling the kids. I just wrote about this from my own perspective.)
~ Becky ~
