My daughter told me that she was being cyber-bullied. After she told me what happened, it wasn't really cyber-bullying, but I would say it's pretty mean. Apparently a girl at school used Instagram to put up a vote of my daughter ("if you don't like her, click yes") and another friend told my daughter about it.
At first I told my child, "She's not cyber-bullying you but she is talking about you. And people will talk about you your whole life, you have to learn to not care." (But we all know we all care to a degree and she will figure that out later.) Then on my way to work I started to think about the situation and I decided on two things.
- A) I needed to find out if it was true;
- B) If it is true, a parent should be notified because in my humble opinion, this could lead to other acts that are worse.
I normally stay out of the "mean girl" drama because I know I can't protect her from everything and some things you just have to go through. But then I look back on my childhood; we didn't have access to Internet with things like Facebook or Instagram to use to talk bad about people. The worst thing we could do was the 3-way call where the 3rd person listens in on the conversation to use against you later. (We all know how that went down.)
So I tried logging into Instagram and failed miserably. Another parent friend helped me out and just emailed that girls mom and told her what was going on. The other mom said that she would look into it. I realize it may not have happened; maybe the girls just told my daughter that to goad her into a fight. Either way a parent is aware and willing to discuss it.
So many parents I know want to stay out of the mean girl drama and let them figure it out, but sometimes it is necessary to know what is going on so you can coach them on important things. Like the fact that the Internet is forever! Anything you post will live in cyberworld somewhere forever. (A side note, is it necessary for 11- and 12-year-olds to have Instagram? I don't think so.)
Credit: flickingerbrad.
We just gave our daughter a tablet and we go through it regularly. Her email is programmed to our iPhones so we see each email she sends and receives. For the love of Pete people, if you are going to give your children cell phones, please teach them phone etiquette. I have had so many kids call my phone looking for my daughter but hang up when I answer. I have had kids call my phone at 7 am on a Saturday morning trying to make play plans. 7 am people!
With all the accessible technology, parents need to teach their children not only how to use it but proper manners when using it. Set boundaries and don't allow iPads, tablets, Facebook, and all other technology be another electronic babysitter. Also, don't allow your kids to use these resources as a way to be mean to, talk badly about, or bully other kids.
I am not a perfect parent; I am sure there are areas that I could improve on or things I could do better. But I just can't understand why kids are given so much freedom when it comes to some of these things that can hurt them later on down the road.