Pixar's newest offering, Inside Out, is pretty darned amazing for the way it suits all ages, offering not just fun, but food for thought.
While the audience is privileged to see what's going on in the head of the main character -- an 11-year-old girl named Riley -- her animated parents are not so lucky. They have no idea that Riley is in deep, deep trouble, tumbling head over heels into a bottomless pit of loneliness and indifference.
Image: via Pixar
The heck of it is, they miss all the signs their daughter is in freefall, even though we can tell they're great parents. I don't want to give away the ending if you haven't seen the movie (and you definitely should see it), It's a wonderful film, but when the lights came back up, I was left wondering: What could Riley's parents have done to avoid her downward spiral into the blues?
The result of that mind exercise resulted in the following 7 parenting lessons I learned from watching Inside Out:
- Don't move to a new place sight unseen. Dude, like what's up with that? Moving from Minne-frigging-sota to the West Coast without checking out your new digs? In an age when everyone has Instagram on their smartphones, why couldn't Riley's parents have had someone send them photographs of the new apartment?
Riley and her parents could have looked at the photos so they would know what to expect. They would have seen that their new home was basically a disaster. Then they could have either refused that place or included Riley in discussing all the fun ways they'd fix up her room (like we did around the office at Kars4Kids via this Pinterest board when we were redecorating the office). Instead, Riley and her parents drove and drove for days and when they were exhausted , discovered they were moving into a dump. Not cool.
- Connect with the new neighbors in advance of the move. Do a reverse lookup and find out who your neighbors will be. Or call the school and have them arrange to have kids Riley's age chat with her online to avoid the problem of not having a single soul to call her friend on that first day at a brand new school. I mean, the neighbors could have brought casseroles and stuff. This is the age of social media. Everything is possible. It's not rocket science.
- Scope out the neighborhood online before you get there to find a restaurant with normal pizza. Look, this is basic. Know the neighborhood before you get there. Remember: GIYF (Google is your friend). Use Google maps or look for the city's website and find out what shops and restaurants and services are in the new area. You don't have to move into a new place completely raw.
- Talk about the move ahead of time. A decision such as moving to the opposite coast should have been discussed in a family meeting. Not that your children get to decide where families will live, but so that kids can be prepared to have a smooth a transition to the new environment as is humanly possible. It's just not fair that Riley got such a huge shock. She should have known what to expect. That she didn't is, yes, her (admittedly animated) parents' fault.
- Be real about what sucks. Yes, moving away from everything you've always known -- your star role as an ice-hockey goddess, your best friend, your beautiful home -- well, frankly, it sucks. Instead of pretending it's all an adventure, Riley should have got some sympathy from her parents instead of all that playacting. It is perfectly okay to say to your child, "Yes, moving away from what you've always known and loved sucks."
- Make sure your child has something fun to do. Riley's parents knew that hockey was a big deal for Riley. Maybe they could have checked out the local hockey scene in advance of the move and found a way to sign Riley to the team, or at least schedule try-outs. It's another example of how Riley should have been part of the move. Instead, she was left to her own devices to figure everything out on her own. She clearly could have used some help finding a way to structure her free time in a fun and productive way. That might have kept her out of trouble.
- Always be watching your child no matter what. So you're moving and things are chaotic. That's still no excuse not to have one eye on your child at all times; even if she's past the age of eating the sand in the sandbox. Riley's parents saw she was sulking, but they didn't get how bad things were until it was almost too late. Don't let that happen to your child. Even if she's totally capable of getting dressed by herself and no longer needs to be reminded to do her homework. Your child will always be your child. You don't want to ever miss even one distress signal.
Did you move to a new neighborhood with a child Riley's age? What tips and tricks did you use to make things go smoothly and keep your child on track? What did you learn from the move?